Seth Cockfield

comedian | Brooklyn, NY

Welcome to the website of stand-up comedian Seth Cockfield.

Tom Cotton Has an Ironic Name

I don’t get it.

I Just read a profile on Tom Cotton, an Arkansas Republican representative who is running for Senate. He’s a tall, white, 36-year-old veteran of two wars and has earned two ivy-league degrees, and he is being touted as the latest “future of the GOP”. He’s created a lot of excitement within a political party that only seems to get excited about big jerks.


What does the future of the GOP look like? Well, for starters, Cotton is against marriage equality, recently voted No to renew the Violence Against Women act, he’s against reproductive rights and just about all things Obama, he’s a deeply religious Christian, he loves war…so to them, I guess “future” is just a figure of speech.

He’ll probably get his Senate seat, because Arkansas, but do people like this expect to ever take back the White House? What do they really mean by future? Is the GOP just assuming America will get over its thing for civil rights? We’re past the days that a nightmare like Tom Cotton could ever be president, right? 

And if a Republican politician were to modernize, by embracing marriage equality, supporting the right to choose, accepting the veracity of modern science and acknowledging that income inequality is killing this country, would they still be a Republican? Would someone like that ever be accepted in their party anyway? (No.)

So why would anyone ever be surprised to find out that the Future of the GOP is always the same person? Romney, Ryan, Palin, Bachmann, Cain, Pawlenty, Jindal, Perry, Paul, Rubio, Cruz—clones, terrible clones. How is this a major party? And can’t they just get their own little island?