Seth Cockfield

comedian | Brooklyn, NY

Welcome to the website of stand-up comedian Seth Cockfield.

The Coolest

One day, I found this at a thrift store:

It’s a video that Kellogg’s offered for a handful of Pop-Tart UPC’s. It opens with Paula Poundstone doing roughly twenty minutes of mostly Pop-Tart material. She is talking about Pop-Tarts, while holding a box of Pop-Tarts in her hand, and on the brick wall behind her is an extremely large and distracting Pop-Tart sign. She opted out of dressing like a Pop-Tart, instead wearing what looks like what a nine-year-old would wear to a job interview.

Eventually, Poundstone brings up other comedians who never mention the Pop-Tarts sign. What the fuck? C’mon, address the elephant in the room already. 80’s comics must’ve not found stuff like that annoying yet.

 

The hidden gem in this video is at the end, when Paula brings up headliner and ridiculous prop comic Marty Putz to the stage. Judging from the garbage bag he’s wearing over his whole body, he doesn’t do ‘subtle’. He is all props. All he has to do is show a prop to people, and it’s Beatlemania all over again. He hasn’t even made a joke, but they can’t hold back. He has them, and he has them good. 

All he has to do is say, “guys, this is the coolest”, and they believe him. A six-foot baseball glove he wears on his head is so people can throw marshmallows at him and he catches them and eats them. The crowd is shitting itself. 

Someone in the back yells, “excellent!”. 

A gag where he puts his hand in a bag, slams it with a hammer, and pulls out a big fake flat hand.

Deafening screams of laughter.

The garbage bag he’s wearing suddenly inflates, and it’s a fat Elvis suit, complete with fake slicked hair and sideburns. “This is the coolest”, he says, apparently having lied about his previous bits being the coolest. 

The whole video is a pretty jarring experience, especially when considering that everyone in the video was getting regular work throughout the 80’s and early 90’s.

BTW, in case you ever book Putz, be sure to use his official poster: